This is a long continuation of thought most recently from my last post How to move beyond why and give me.
Does life ever feel so heavy sometimes, and do ever have that ache in your chest, the one that whispers, “Is this all there is?”
Why do we feel like we’re just going through the motions, drifting at work, distracted at home, and disconnected from our purpose?
It’s natural in those moments to turn to God with desperation in our hearts:
“God, please give me peace. Give me clarity. Give me strength to face what feels impossible.”
And yet, even with these honest prayers, we often find ourselves still waiting, still aching, still trying to understand why.
I just recently read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist and survivor of Auschwitz, who wrestled with these same questions in the harshest imaginable conditions. And through that intense experience of suffering, he discovered something profound: even when every freedom is stripped away (when you’re hungry, humiliated, and near death) you still have the freedom to choose how you respond. He called this “the last of human freedoms,” and it became the foundation of his psychological approach, logotherapy.
What Frankl came to understand is that we are not just made to avoid suffering or chase happiness. We are made to find meaning even in the midst of pain. And that meaning often reveals itself through sacrifice, responsibility, and love.
As Catholic men, we don’t have to look far to see this lived out. Christ, the perfect man, entered into suffering willingly, and not to avoid it, but to redeem it. When we suffer, we’re not alone. We are walking with the One who carried His Cross and invites us to carry ours with Him. Not because suffering is good in itself, but because through it, something sacred can be born.
Frankl once wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any ‘how.’” That truth is exemplified through the life of every saint, every father who quietly sacrifices, every man who chooses integrity over ease. When we align our “why” with God’s will, even the darkest seasons of life become opportunities to grow stronger, to love deeper, and to become more fully alive.
So maybe the question isn’t “Why me?” after all.
Maybe the deeper prayer is, “Lord, what do You want to form in me through this?”
Because when we stop demanding that God simply take the pain away, and instead ask Him to walk with us through it we begin to discover a peace that doesn’t depend on circumstances. We begin to understand that prayer isn’t just about getting answers. It’s about entering into communion, about becoming more like Christ.
And in that place, where pain meets purpose, we find not just relief, but transformation.
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