I Went to a Men’s Ministry Launch... & One Number Ruined My Day
This Parish Event Revealed Why Brotherhood Among Men Feels So Rare
Last weekend, I attended my parish’s new men’s ministry launch event.
My parish has about 850 families and at least 700 men. Hosting the event was renowned speaker, author and designer of men’s ministries, John Edwards.
John began advising our church parish months ago, and a strong plan was adopted and a ministry team was prepared. Saturday, John powerfully spoke on the need for men to engage and actively participate.
The event was compelling for the 35 (5%) men who attended the kickoff.
While 5% of the potential audience is a disappointing turnout to me, it’s not unusual. Catholic men’s conferences across North America consistently see a fraction of the pool of men attending.
Why don’t we men want to join in these events and commit our time to faith-based events that help us all get off the couch and grow as disciples, husbands, fathers and leaders?
I’m not sure I have all those answers. But I do know we can’t get discouraged.
God’s plan for Brotherhood
If you are reading this, no doubt you are familiar with the mission the Heroic Men ministry for creating and growing brotherhood in Christ.
Given the current loneliness and isolation crisis men face, building brotherhood is more essential now than ever. But it isn’t our idea; it’s God’s plan. God made us for relationship, and brotherhood is all about that.
Regardless of how low or high men may be responding to invitation to engage, for those of us whom God has called to respond, it’s a matter of obedience. We need to pray, refine our plans, and persevere.
The Bible’s Case for Brotherhood
How is it obedience? The Bible presents a powerful and consistent case for brotherhood. Throughout Scripture, God emphasizes that people are not meant to live life alone but in supportive, encouraging relationships with others.
Brotherhood in the biblical sense is more than friendship; it involves accountability, unity, encouragement, and mutual care during both good times and times of hardship.
Several key passages demonstrate that strong relationships between believers help individuals grow spiritually and remain strong in their faith.
The most quoted about brotherhood has to be Proverbs 27:17
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”
This verse illustrates the idea that people improve one another through honest interaction and accountability. Just as iron tools become sharper through friction with another piece of iron, individuals grow stronger and wiser when they challenge and encourage one another.
Brotherhood therefore involves more than simply spending time together; it requires intentional relationships where people push each other toward growth, wisdom, and righteousness.
We are the average of our 5 best friends.
We take on the character and draw on those good men we hang (in brotherhood) with. Proverbs 13:20 says it better than me: “He who walks with wise men becomes wise. But he the companion of fools will suffer harm”.
In Ecclesiastes 4:9 says: “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor” and that if one person falls, another can help them up. Life inevitably brings difficulties, and moments of weakness.
When your buddy faces these challenges alone, it’s much harder to recover. However, when brothers walk together, they can support and restore each other. Verse 12 continues: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” This metaphor emphasizes the strength found in unity.
Jesus had 12 disciples, sent them out in pairs to proclaim the gospel, and they each then built a brotherhood to go and build the early church.
Here’s one last New Testament verse in support of building brotherhood. Galatians 6:2 instructs us to: “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
This teaching shows that faith is not only personal but also communal. Supporting others through their struggles is an essential expression of Christian love. Men need that now more than ever.
Time for action.
Never give in and never give up. Men may not be jumping into brotherhood groups or conferences at a rate we want.
But, we do know your personal invitation to one man at a time works. Extend your hand and invite one man into friendship, a beer, coffee.
If we don’t, we are part of the problem. If we do, we are obeying God’s will and certainly part of the solution.
Thanks, Brothers.
I think simply being Catholic and a father is far too broad a category for many men to come together as a unified group in a parish. Men come from all ages and walks of life, different charisms and desires for community. I've participated in several of these types of groups and they all had that same issue. No unified charism and purpose.
The Knights of Columbus is really the only one I think has the right stuff but it's hard to participate when I'm raising young children
As a Catholic man my understanding of Catholic community was my parish. But first being a Catholic does come with requirements. To be a follower of Jesus is to be in communion with his bride the church and to be faithful to her in all circumstances despite our failings.
My belief is men choose the wrong priorities as far as how and where to spend thier leisure time. Sports over spiritual pursuits for example. But it is male companionship beyond the role of parent that is missing. However prayer we learned at an early age is something done in solitude except on Sundays. I do disagree with you. Men do need bible study and prayer groups. But that takes time because trust must be built over time. And I'm not speaking of men who are struggling with ongoing sin i.e. porn/ sex addiction-mental health issues. These aren't spiritual self help groups. These must be centered on men who have overcome these struggles and are intent on living thier faith in companionship with other men sharing the struggles while reaffirming thier faith. But this is probably best achieved by men who are attuned to God and courageous enough to live it out, even to the point it interferes with our expectations and plans. That requires a forum in which men can discern this together in brotherhood and communion.