I think simply being Catholic and a father is far too broad a category for many men to come together as a unified group in a parish. Men come from all ages and walks of life, different charisms and desires for community. I've participated in several of these types of groups and they all had that same issue. No unified charism and purpose.
The Knights of Columbus is really the only one I think has the right stuff but it's hard to participate when I'm raising young children
As a Catholic man my understanding of Catholic community was my parish. But first being a Catholic does come with requirements. To be a follower of Jesus is to be in communion with his bride the church and to be faithful to her in all circumstances despite our failings.
My belief is men choose the wrong priorities as far as how and where to spend thier leisure time. Sports over spiritual pursuits for example. But it is male companionship beyond the role of parent that is missing. However prayer we learned at an early age is something done in solitude except on Sundays. I do disagree with you. Men do need bible study and prayer groups. But that takes time because trust must be built over time. And I'm not speaking of men who are struggling with ongoing sin i.e. porn/ sex addiction-mental health issues. These aren't spiritual self help groups. These must be centered on men who have overcome these struggles and are intent on living thier faith in companionship with other men sharing the struggles while reaffirming thier faith. But this is probably best achieved by men who are attuned to God and courageous enough to live it out, even to the point it interferes with our expectations and plans. That requires a forum in which men can discern this together in brotherhood and communion.
I hear ya, Dean. I am disappointed too because I know how much men need a men’s ministry. I’m in a group where men have been telling me what an impacthas had on their lives. We just reflected on the prodigal son, parable and several men talked about how they feel that they squandered many years in their life, being lukewarm in their faith. The ministry helped them ignite their faith and become a leader in their family where they are now the ones who want to go to mass and to be involved. The challenge is to get men to make the time and to step out into something they don’t know know much about until they get there.
There are a couple problems with the concept of building Men's Ministry. Many people, even those affiliated with Heroic Men, pass out the phenomenal book, "No Man Left Behind" but, sadly, I find that very few of them have actually read the book.
If they had read the book, they would learn that the secret to building men's ministry is to stop trying to build men's ministry. It's already there. Everything that men do in a parish is men's ministry. Find those aspects and strengthen them. Encourage the men in all of your ministries to come together and pray before events, to talk to each other outside of those events, and to find another man to bring into that ministry.
We are not trying to build men's ministry; we are trying to build disciples and anything that works toward that purpose is "Men's Ministry."
Men don't need a Bible study or a program, per se; they need a purpose. They need to belong to something. The downside, of course, is that, with all the demands on their time, men are extremely wary of being recruited into something that will demand more of their time. Be honest. How many of your groups sign people up and immediately start recruiting to fill open positions? The answer is generally...all of them. I have my own life and my own problems. I am not the answer to your problems.
Until I care about your problems. The correct structure to consider is: Belong, Believe, Behave.
1. Give men community without requirements or recruiting
2. When they are comfortable with a group, they will be much more amenable with the purpose of the group and its goals
3. If men feel at home in the group and have come to agree with the tenets of that group, then and only then, can you recruit them.
This. Takes. Years. If you are not prepared to spend seven to ten years of building ministry, find something else to do. While you are finding something else to do, take some time to read "No Man Left Behind."
Thank you for the terrific reply. I wouldn’t disagree with a single thing. No man left behind as an amazing book and I use it in training leaders who are called to start or grow their men groups. Trying to make a case here to have guys look at scripture and how it direct us to build Brotherhood. 63% of men who claim to be catholic, no longer attend mass, and those of the brothers. I really feel like we need to find an extra gear and seek them out. Or, create ministries that draw them in. Peace, Dean.
I think simply being Catholic and a father is far too broad a category for many men to come together as a unified group in a parish. Men come from all ages and walks of life, different charisms and desires for community. I've participated in several of these types of groups and they all had that same issue. No unified charism and purpose.
The Knights of Columbus is really the only one I think has the right stuff but it's hard to participate when I'm raising young children
As a Catholic man my understanding of Catholic community was my parish. But first being a Catholic does come with requirements. To be a follower of Jesus is to be in communion with his bride the church and to be faithful to her in all circumstances despite our failings.
My belief is men choose the wrong priorities as far as how and where to spend thier leisure time. Sports over spiritual pursuits for example. But it is male companionship beyond the role of parent that is missing. However prayer we learned at an early age is something done in solitude except on Sundays. I do disagree with you. Men do need bible study and prayer groups. But that takes time because trust must be built over time. And I'm not speaking of men who are struggling with ongoing sin i.e. porn/ sex addiction-mental health issues. These aren't spiritual self help groups. These must be centered on men who have overcome these struggles and are intent on living thier faith in companionship with other men sharing the struggles while reaffirming thier faith. But this is probably best achieved by men who are attuned to God and courageous enough to live it out, even to the point it interferes with our expectations and plans. That requires a forum in which men can discern this together in brotherhood and communion.
I cant even bribe 5 people to pretend to br my best friends
I hear ya, Dean. I am disappointed too because I know how much men need a men’s ministry. I’m in a group where men have been telling me what an impacthas had on their lives. We just reflected on the prodigal son, parable and several men talked about how they feel that they squandered many years in their life, being lukewarm in their faith. The ministry helped them ignite their faith and become a leader in their family where they are now the ones who want to go to mass and to be involved. The challenge is to get men to make the time and to step out into something they don’t know know much about until they get there.
There are a couple problems with the concept of building Men's Ministry. Many people, even those affiliated with Heroic Men, pass out the phenomenal book, "No Man Left Behind" but, sadly, I find that very few of them have actually read the book.
If they had read the book, they would learn that the secret to building men's ministry is to stop trying to build men's ministry. It's already there. Everything that men do in a parish is men's ministry. Find those aspects and strengthen them. Encourage the men in all of your ministries to come together and pray before events, to talk to each other outside of those events, and to find another man to bring into that ministry.
We are not trying to build men's ministry; we are trying to build disciples and anything that works toward that purpose is "Men's Ministry."
Men don't need a Bible study or a program, per se; they need a purpose. They need to belong to something. The downside, of course, is that, with all the demands on their time, men are extremely wary of being recruited into something that will demand more of their time. Be honest. How many of your groups sign people up and immediately start recruiting to fill open positions? The answer is generally...all of them. I have my own life and my own problems. I am not the answer to your problems.
Until I care about your problems. The correct structure to consider is: Belong, Believe, Behave.
1. Give men community without requirements or recruiting
2. When they are comfortable with a group, they will be much more amenable with the purpose of the group and its goals
3. If men feel at home in the group and have come to agree with the tenets of that group, then and only then, can you recruit them.
This. Takes. Years. If you are not prepared to spend seven to ten years of building ministry, find something else to do. While you are finding something else to do, take some time to read "No Man Left Behind."
Thank you for the terrific reply. I wouldn’t disagree with a single thing. No man left behind as an amazing book and I use it in training leaders who are called to start or grow their men groups. Trying to make a case here to have guys look at scripture and how it direct us to build Brotherhood. 63% of men who claim to be catholic, no longer attend mass, and those of the brothers. I really feel like we need to find an extra gear and seek them out. Or, create ministries that draw them in. Peace, Dean.