Men Were Showing Up to Mass But Something Was Missing
One simple invitation gave Catholic men a path to deeper faith, real brotherhood, and stronger leadership—and it started with just a handful of men willing to show up.
Written by Adam Carlisle
Secretary for Evangelization and Communication
Diocese of Metuchen, New Jersey
Something Was Missing
Good afternoon gentlemen,
A while back, I started noticing something in our parish. We had strong families, committed parishioners, and good men- but many of us were trying to live our faith alone. We came to Mass, we fulfilled our responsibilities, but there wasn’t much fraternity. There wasn’t a place
where men could be honest about struggles, grow in virtue together, and challenge each other to holiness.
We Didn’t Need to Reinvent the Wheel
Last year I was part of the planning committee for this conference. Peter introduced us to Dean Patterson and Heroic Men. What struck me immediately was that it didn’t water down our faith. It spoke directly to men about leadership, sacrifice, prayer, virtue and spiritual battle. They presented authentic Catholic teaching in a way that was clear, practical and challenging. But more than the content, it gave us structure.
Instead of asking,” What should we study?”:” Or who is qualified to lead?: We realized we didn’t need to reinvent the wheel. We simply needed to invite a few men, press play, and begin the conversation. Heroic Men provides faithful information rooted in Scripture, the Catechism, and the lives of the Saints. It gave us confidence that what we were sharing was solid and authentically Catholic.
We Started Small
We started small, just a handful of men meeting regularly. We committed to show up. We prayed together. We had real conversations- about what it means to really be a man, about marriage, fatherhood, purity, discipline and what it means to carry the cross in daily life.
RECOMMENDED READING
FEATURE
Then Something Began to Change
And something began to change,
Walls came down. Brotherhood formed. Men who had never spoken openly about their faith began leading their families more intentionally. Confessions became more frequent. Prayer became more consistent. We began holding one another accountable- not in judgement, but in encouragement.
Men Are Hungry for Depth
What I learned is this: men are hungry for depth. They want to be challenged. They want a mission. But often they just need an invitation and a path forward.
Heroic Men provided that path. It gave us a common vision of authentic Catholic masculinity not domination, not passivity, but sacrificial love modeled after Christ.
When Men Step Up, Everything Changes
Today, what started as a simple step of faith has grown into a brotherhood within our parish, and I’m convinced that when men step up spiritually, families grow stronger, parishes become more vibrant, and the whole Church benefits.
This Is Your Invitation
If you’ve ever felt like there should be more- more depth, more brotherhood, more purpose- this is your invitation. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just be willing to show up.
That’s how ours began. And God has done the rest.
