You’ve Got Work to Do: Kenneth Harrouff on Healing, Brotherhood, and the Call to Action for Catholic Men
A Heroic Hotline Interview
Sean Lynn sat down with Kenneth, a Catholic men’s life coach and the founder of CatholicMensCoaching.com, to talk about trauma, healing, addiction, masculinity—and why spiritual growth without emotional healing is like trying to climb a mountain with a broken leg.
Kenneth brings an unflinching honesty and deep compassion to the conversation, shaped by years of struggle, sobriety, service, and scars. “There’s nothing a man can say that would shock me,” he said. “I’ve done everything. There’s no judgment here.”
This interview didn’t sugarcoat anything. Instead, it lit a fire—and called every man listening to look in the mirror and ask the hard question: Am I the man God created me to be?
1. Emotional Health Before Spiritual Growth
“Spiritual bypass” is the term Kenneth uses to describe what happens when men try to skip over the hard emotional work and just throw themselves into prayer, sacraments, and service.
“I could go to Mass. I could go to confession. I could go to adoration. Those things for me as a Catholic weren’t hard,” Kenneth shared. “What was really hard? Looking at my childhood. Looking at the sexual abuse I went through as a teenager. That’s what was holding me back.”
He challenged men not to mistake activity for healing.
“You guys [Heroic Men] are doing the work—training leaders, building spiritual formation, helping guys get serious about their faith. But if those men are carrying wounds they haven’t faced yet, they’ll never get the full fruit of what you offer. We’ve got to deal with the emotional and physical stuff, too.”
The message was simple. Don’t hide behind church attendance. Look at what’s broken—and fix it.
2. Brotherhood, Addiction, and the Hidden Crisis in Men’s Groups
The statistics are brutal:
3 out of 4 suicides are men.
Anxiety in men is up 164%.
Depression is up 109%.
Yet men are far less likely than women to seek help.
“Men feel like islands,” Kenneth said. “They think their problem is different. Or they don’t think they’re worth the investment to get help. Or worse, they think asking for help is weak.”
But he flips that on its head: “It takes courage to get help. Real courage. And there’s power in brotherhood. We’re way more powerful together than any man is alone.”
Kenneth’s coaching combines what he calls “men’s work” with practical healing: somatic breath work, emotional regulation, trauma processing, and raw honesty.
And honesty is exactly what he says men’s groups need more of.
“Most men’s groups don’t start by saying, ‘Hey, raise your hand if you’re struggling with porn,’” he said. “But maybe they should.”
He spoke about a men’s group where a member committed suicide just two weeks before. The man had been attending regularly—but no one knew how deep he was hurting.
“We hide. Even in men’s groups, we hide,” Kenneth said. “We’ve got to call each other forward. If you’re still drinking too much, looking at porn, stuck in bitterness, abusing work or screens or food to escape—it’s not going to be okay if you don’t change something.”
3. Generational Pain, Masculine Healing, and the Call to Mentorship
Kenneth doesn’t just coach for the sake of men. He coaches for their families.
“I do this work for the wives and kids at home who are suffering under a man’s unresolved pain,” he said. “Not because he’s malicious. But because he’s unaware. But the damage is still real. We pass this stuff down.”
It was a gut-check reminder that our wounds don’t end with us—they echo through our children.
Both Sean and Kenneth spoke of healing retreats, family trees, and the need to confront not just our own struggles, but the legacy of brokenness we might carry. And for Kenneth, that means helping men reclaim masculinity the right way.
“You want to know what real masculinity looks like? Jesus Christ,” he said. “Most masculine man to ever walk the planet. He was honest. Congruent. A man of integrity. Protector of the feminine heart. That’s who I want to be.”
The need is especially critical for young men.
“Most young guys aren’t growing up with real masculine role models,” Kenneth said. “And they’re hungry for it. If you’re in your 20s, find wise men. Not just older guys—wise guys. Men who are struggling and doing the work to be holy. Hang on to their shirt tails and stay close.”
He called every man listening to take responsibility: “We need to change the language around masculinity. Stop being afraid to talk about it. And stop letting culture define it.”
Final Words: Do It Now
“If anything in this conversation sparked something in you—do it now,” he said. “Don’t wait till tomorrow. That’s just a way of saying you’re not going to do it.”
He issued the kind of challenge that cuts through excuses:
“If you need a 12-step meeting—find it right now. If you need a therapist—go online and book it right now. If you even think coaching might help—email me right now. Because trying is just an easy way out. You're either going to do it—or you're not.”
Where to Find Kenneth Harouff
Website: CatholicMensCoaching.com
Email: [email protected]
Want to step up?
Get the Heroic Men and Heroic Brotherhood apps from your app store.
Start a group. Register your conference. Don’t walk alone.