When Success Costs Too Much: A Father’s Wake-Up Call
Patrick Nieukirk thought he was providing everything his family needed—until one sentence from his son made him walk away from the corporate ladder and rediscover what real legacy means.
by Patrick Nieukirk, Executive Director, Summit Men of Colorado
I moved to Colorado for a career opportunity where I met my wife.
We were both workaholics tied to meeting corporate goals. She pursued her CPA career while my sales management progress was judged by achieving quarterly and yearly goals.
We enjoyed going on Achievers Club trips to special places. As the years went on, success was defined by broader regional responsibilities, more travel and even more corporate financial benefits.
My wife worked long hours performing audits for public companies, enjoying the challenges and steady income.
My wife and I had two wonderful sons about two years apart. After a short parental leave each son was enrolled in daycare, pre-k, and then elementary school. A local provider would pick them up after school for after hour care until my wife rushed to pick them up. I traveled four-five days a week so I was absent until the weekend.
As the boys grew up into middle school their activities included soccer and martial arts, I would have to ask what time and where is the game on Saturday.
We occasionally went to Mass and Sunday school as a family.
One Thursday night, I came home to my wife and boys eating supper. I asked about their week and how things were going.
My oldest in middle school said, “Fine. Daddy, when are you going on your next trip, because things are pretty smooth when you are not here.”
Ouch! Talk about a knife being put into your heart!
Later, my wife told me that the way things were going I would never have a close relationship with our sons.
After several months, I resigned from my corporate position giving up the security of a steady income. I devoted my time to being “Mr Mom” taking the kids to school, fixing meals and being the soccer club manager as my wife continued her career.
At first, the pendulum shift was too much for the boys. They didn’t like all of the attention and missed their mom.
This fatherly support continued through high school and ultimately into their college years.
Today, these men are in their early 30s, married and starting their own families.
One of my biggest regrets is that their belief in Jesus and the Catholic faith was not instilled deeply enough in them during their formative years.
I realize that as a grandparent it is not too late to instill Christian beliefs in our granddaughters and even our sons and their wives as they pursue their own career and family goals.