When God Changes Your Plans: How Gil Alderete Became a Reluctant but Relentless Leader for Men
Gil Alderete didn’t set out to become the face of Catholic men’s ministry in California. He didn’t even set out to lead anything. A self-proclaimed “servant by trade,” Gil spent 40 years at UPS—punching the clock, following the schedule, delivering the packages. But God has a way of disrupting our carefully stacked plans. Sometimes He tears up your blueprint entirely—and replaces it with something heavier, harder… and far more meaningful.
In Gil’s case, that “something” was a life of leading other men back to their faith, even while wrestling with his own. His story isn’t polished. It’s not some highlight reel of uninterrupted success. It’s raw, winding, and soaked in the same grit, doubt, and grace that defines every man trying to live with integrity today.
Through heartbreak, dreams deferred, father wounds, and unexpected blessings, Gil became what he never thought he’d be—a man other men look to for hope.
1. “I Thought I’d Be a Deacon… God Laughed.”
Gil’s dream was crystal clear—or so he thought.
He was deep into discerning the diaconate in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. His pastor had him lectoring, distributing Holy Communion, mentoring confirmation teens. It all felt like the runway to a lifelong vocation as a deacon.
But then came the unexpected detour.
“My pastor asked me to bring men’s ministry to the parish,” Gil recalled. “I didn’t want to reinvent the wheel. I started looking around… and that’s when Catholic Men’s Fellowship of California popped back up.”
It wasn’t his first brush with the group. Years prior, Gil had stuffed their materials into a manila folder and forgotten about it. Now, the pieces resurfaced—and with them, a new calling.
Still, he resisted.
“They asked me to be on the board… then vice president… then president,” he laughed. “And I said, ‘Wait a minute. No. I’m going to be a deacon!’”
God had other plans.
In time, Gil surrendered the collar for a different kind of leadership—boots on the ground, building brotherhood one parish, one coffee cake, one Scripture study at a time.
Truth be told, walking away from the diaconate stung.
“It was humbling,” he admitted. “But now? I know God’s blessing is here. He uses those willing to serve. I joke that I just fake it till I make it.”
2. The Power of a Priest Who Cared
Before Gil became a leader, he was lost. Spiritually homeless. Walking both sides of the faith divide.
“I dabbled in Protestantism for a lot of years,” he shared. “I made a shipwreck of my faith.”
It was his wife—a quiet hero in her own right—who reached out to a local priest, Fr. Michael Sears. That simple phone call changed everything.
“Fr. Michael took me under his wing,” Gil recalled, voice thick with emotion. “He gave me a cassette tape—Scott Hahn’s conversion story—and just started pouring into me.”
What made the deepest impression wasn’t flashy theology. It wasn’t rigid lectures. It was the fact that Fr. Michael made time.
“He cared,” Gil said simply. “He gave me his number. Told me, ‘Call me anytime.’ He anointed me… my hands, my feet, my lips… told me God had something special for me.”
Fr. Michael became a spiritual father when Gil desperately needed one. The lessons stuck. Today, Gil echoes that same intentional care with every man he meets.
“We all need someone to pull us back when we’ve made a mess of our lives,” he said. “Fr. Michael did that for me.”
3. Our Lady, Father Wounds, and the Masculine Heart
It wasn’t just priests who shaped Gil’s redemption. It was a mother—the Blessed Mother.
In one of his darkest moments, Gil found himself parked outside St. Monica’s Church in Santa Monica, life unraveling. He stepped inside and made a beeline for the crucifix. But his heart pulled him somewhere else.
“I told Jesus, ‘I need to go talk to your mom,’” Gil shared. “I wept at her feet. I asked her to help me.”
For a man carrying father wounds and the ache of his own mother’s passing, that moment was a turning point.
“She picked me up out of the gutter by the back of my shirt,” he said, “dragged me to her son’s cross, and dropped me there.”
It wasn’t clean. It wasn’t instant. But it was real. Slowly, Gil’s love for Jesus—and his Church—grew into a daily discipline.
“Falling in love with Jesus is a masculine thing,” Gil reflected. “You embrace the cross. You stare at the crucifix and say, ‘That’s how much He loves me.’”
Now, Gil channels that hard-won faith into every conversation—with gas station strangers, with young men drifting from the faith, with every guy who thinks they’re too far gone.
“Men lose hope,” he said. “They need someone to show them, ‘The wounds are real, but so is redemption.’”
Final Reflections: A Reluctant Hero for the Broken and the Searching
At 63, Gil Alderete isn’t slowing down. Catholic Men’s Fellowship is growing—parish by parish, state by state. Hawaii, Nevada, Arizona… the brotherhood keeps expanding. And through it all, Gil remains the same—a flawed, faith-fueled man pointing others toward Christ.
“I want to be a hero for anyone God puts in my path,” he said. “The guy at the gas pump. The man who thinks there’s no hope. The young man walking away from the Church.”
It’s not glamorous. It’s not easy. But it’s real.
And like Gil reminds us: heroism isn’t born—it’s made.
“God does the blessing,” he smiled. “We just say, ‘Okay Lord… you open the doors.’”