What 45 Days Near Death Taught Jason Shanks About the Eucharist

From the 'Experiencing Divine Intimacy' Keynote at the Heroic Men Summit 2024

The theme of intimacy can feel foreign, especially for men. “We don’t go around and say, how’s your intimacy with the Lord,” he said. Instead, conversations tend to stay at the level of “how’s your prayer life” or “how’s your walk.”

Shanks grounded intimacy in the nature of God Himself. Within the Trinity, he said, there is total self-gift: “The Son gives all of Himself to the Father, the Father gives all of Himself to the Son, and out of that love comes the Holy Spirit.” Intimacy, in this sense, is not sentiment but oneness, a deep relational unity that reflects both divine life and human relationships, especially marriage.

He emphasized that God is always the initiator in that relationship. “When you think about the movement of God throughout salvation history, it’s always towards us,” he said. Each step of Christ’s life reveals a deeper movement toward humanity, from incarnation to crucifixion to resurrection. Yet, Shanks argued, the Eucharist represents an even further step. “I’m going to remain hidden in the bread and in the wine… so that every time you come to Mass, you can receive Me,” he said, describing it as the fullest expression of divine desire for intimacy.

Despite this, Shanks said modern life resists that relationship. He described what he called “practical atheism,” where belief exists intellectually but fails to shape daily living. Cultural pressures—success, independence, self-sufficiency—pull people away from dependence on God. “You wouldn’t tell your wife, I told you 20 years ago I loved you,” he said, underscoring that intimacy requires ongoing attention.

He pointed to the Sermon on the Mount as the starting point, particularly “poverty in spirit,” which he described as detachment and radical trust. Referencing St. Thérèse of Lisieux, he highlighted the idea of becoming small, allowing God to lift the soul like an elevator. “How hard is that for us,” he said, emphasizing the difficulty of embracing weakness.

After contracting COVID-19, he was hospitalized with what doctors described as one of the worst cases they had seen. Before being sedated and intubated, he called his wife. Rather than offering final words of affection, he recalled giving practical instructions: “Here’s where the life insurance is… here’s how the bills are paid.” At his wife’s insistence, he spent 15 minutes sending farewell messages to each of his five children, an experience he described as deeply clarifying.

Shanks was placed under sedation for weeks, during which his condition worsened. He developed sepsis, pneumonia, and kidney failure, requiring dialysis. At one point, doctors prepared his wife for the likelihood of death. During this period, he experienced ICU delirium, describing it as “another world, another life, where time no longer exists.”

He recalled a moment in that state when he told God he was finished. “I can no longer go… my time is up,” he said. According to Shanks, the response he perceived was direct: “You have five little kids. Keep fighting.”

A novena to St. Jude was initiated on his behalf, spreading among friends and community members. Shanks said his condition improved each day of the novena. “Every day I got better and better and better,” he said, crediting intercessory prayer as decisive. He later reframed the Gospel story of the paralytic lowered through the roof, saying the focus should be on “the friends at the top” whose faith made the healing possible.

When he eventually regained consciousness after roughly 45 days, unable to move or speak, reliant on others for care, he felt humiliated. That experience, he said, led him to understand the Eucharist differently. Christ, present in the tabernacle, is similarly hidden, immobile, and dependent on others. “He’s relying on us to come visit Him,” Shanks said. “That’s how much He wants to abide with us.”

This realization reshaped his understanding of participation in the Eucharist. Previously, saying “Amen” meant belief in Christ’s presence. Now, he said, it also signifies total self-offering: “I give myself to You, Lord.”

Faith is not about perfection but persistence. “Your families don’t have hope in your perfection,” he said. “Their hope lies in that you’re here and you’re fighting.”

He urges continued effort, humility, and reliance on God. Don’t see weakness as failure but as the entry point into divine intimacy.