How Busy Catholic Men Can Build a Prayer Life That Doesn’t Collapse #3
18 concrete practices that turn prayer from nice ideas into your Daily Operating System against morning demons, boredom, and panic
Tom Hornacek frames the podcast the same way he frames life: as a daily battle men aren’t meant to fight alone.
“We were very lukewarm in our faith, and many men are there right now,” Dean Patterson says. “We’re trying to light a little fire, one step at a time, to grow closer to God and bring men back to church to lead their families.”
This episode, he says, starts at the foundation.
“Nothing happens until we have a prayer life that’s consistent,” Patterson says. “If prayer is communication with God, are we doing that daily?”
Prayer as a last resort
Hornacek reaches for a line from Bishop Fulton Sheen to describe how many men treat prayer. “Most people treat prayer like an aviator treats his parachute,” he says. “I’m glad I’ve got it. I just hope I never have to use it. That was me. I never prayed unless I needed something.”
“A lot of us treat God like a personal ATM,” Patterson says. “When we run out of answers, we suddenly lean into Him.”
He doesn’t reject that instinct, but he widens it. “God wants you to lean into Him,” Patterson continues. “But do you only do that when you’ve made a mess, or can you do it daily as a leader in your family?”
Prayer isn’t a mood. It’s a choice.
Hornacek pushes back on the popular idea that prayer depends on feeling inspired.
“Prayer isn’t a feeling. It’s a decision,” he says. “Like getting up and going to work. You don’t always want to, but you do it.”
He says most mornings start crowded.
“You wake up and your mind fills immediately,” he says. “Kids who’ve left the faith. Family problems. Work issues.” He calls that rush “the morning demons.”
His counter is basic. “Instead of waking up to that, start with an Our Father or a Hail Mary,” Hornacek says.
Start small and stay there
Patterson says his early attempts at prayer failed because he tried to move too fast.
“I jumped into the deep end,” he says. “I felt the call, but I wasn’t ready for the habits I was copying.”
What worked was borrowing the Church’s language. “Jesus gives us the Our Father,” Patterson says. “Rote prayers give you words when you don’t have them yet.”
He urges men not to overreach.
“Start with two or three minutes of Scripture,” he says. “The Psalms are a good place to begin.”
Hornacek agrees. “Gradual isn’t a compromise,” he says. “Even five quiet minutes a day counts.”
Build a routine that survives real life
Both men return to one word: routine.
“You can pray while driving to work,” Hornacek says. “Instead of filling your head with sports or betting odds.”
He recommends simple daily companions tied to the Mass. “The Word Among Us was my entry level,” he says. “I could understand it.” He also points to Magnificat and audio tools.
“Put the Amen app on your phone,” Hornacek says. “Let the readings come to you.”
Patterson says timing matters. “Do it first thing in the morning,” he says. “It shapes how you think all day.”
His own routine includes daily readings, reflections, and silence. “Silence matters,” Patterson says. “Even five or ten minutes of just being with God.”
Novenas and surrender
Structured prayer, Patterson says, gave him traction. “I didn’t know what a novena was,” he says. “It’s a nine‑day prayer.”
He now returns often to the Surrender Novena. “It’s Jesus saying, ‘Trust me. Surrender to me,’” Patterson says. “I wasn’t ready for it years ago. I am now.”
Hornacek says the point isn’t technique. “God will direct your prayer life,” he says. “You just have to stay attentive.”
Now he notices when prayer breaks down, and what the day feels like. “If I don’t pray, something feels missing,” Hornacek says.
Saints, lists, and memory
Hornacek relies on practical prompts. “I read the Saint of the Day,” he says. “Their stories and intercession matter.”
He also writes names down. “If I promise to pray and don’t write it down, I forget,” Hornacek says. “So I carry a notebook.”
Prayer, he says, has become baseline. “If I don’t do it, the day feels off.”
The rosary as discipline
Hornacek admits he once dismissed the rosary. “I thought it was for old Catholic women,” he says. “I pray it every day now.”
He fits it into ordinary life. “I pray it on the exercise bike,” he says, often with the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.
It took years. “That didn’t happen all at once,” Hornacek says. It takes time, and that’s ok.
Patterson calls the rosary powerful because it’s biblical and repetitive. “You’re reflecting on Scripture,” he says.
Hornacek keeps a rosary on him all the time. “This is a weapon,” he says, recalling a men’s conference where one decade reset a chaotic situation.
Every prayer counts
Hornacek says persistence matters more than outcomes.
“Every prayer goes to the throne of God,” he says.
He recalls a family member returning to Mass after decades away. “That’s what heaven rejoices over,” Hornacek says. “One lost soul.”
Patterson emphasizes posture. “Your attitide matters,” he says, for mind, body, and soul. “God, you’re God, and I’m not.”
Pray without ceasing
Hornacek points to St. Paul’s command.
“Pray without ceasing,” he says. “That means frequent contact.” Short prayers, he says, all day. “Stop. Think. Pray.”
Patterson describes faith woven into daily life, even publicly. “Ask a server in a restaurant if there’s something you can pray for,” he says. “Sometimes they answer.”
Hornacek closes with a hopeful call: “If you miss a day, don’t let the enemy use it,” he says. “Just start over.”
Recap of Tips:
Begin the day with a single Our Father or Hail Mary
Treat prayer as a decision, not a feeling
Start with 2–5 minutes, not long sessions
Use the Psalms as starter language
Pray first thing in the morning
Pray while driving instead of consuming noise
Eliminate distractions that crowd prayer (sports betting, mental clutter)
Use a daily Mass-based guide (Word Among Us)
Use Magnificat for morning/evening structure
Use audio tools (Amen app, reflections)
Build silence into the routine
Use novenas for sustained focus
Practice surrender prayer intentionally
Read the saint of the day and ask intercession
Write down names you promise to pray for
Pray the rosary daily, integrated into normal life
Carry a rosary as a physical reminder/tool
Next episode:
“It’s not your job to convert,” Hornacek says. “It’s your job to invite and love.” They plan to discuss how men outreach to other men, to invite them to live better lives.
Patterson agrees. “You can’t give away what you don’t have,” he says. “Prayer comes first.”