He Was Headed for Jail or Death—Until One Man Changed His Life
The Robert Tunmire interview on Heroic Stories
One of the founding leaders behind Heroic Men and the Catholic Men’s Leadership Alliance, Robert has spent the last few decades doing one thing: being there for other men. At 16, he was skating the edge between prison and a funeral. “And I didn’t really care which one it was,” he said.
Then came the turning point: a man stepped into his story. Not a saint. But a real man who saw his potential and walked with him. “That guy helped me rewrite my entire story,” Robert told us. “Had I not met him, I wouldn’t be anywhere. I wouldn’t have lived the life I’ve lived.”
This is a story about mentorship, grit, and grace. It’s about why heroism isn’t perfection—it’s presence. And how one man’s willingness to walk with another can reroute an entire life.
The Man Who Believed in Me.
At 16, Robert was spiraling. The kind of spiral where you’re so numb, the future doesn’t scare you. That’s when he met Don—a successful father of six, with a thriving business, and a heart for young men with no direction.
“Don looked at me and said, ‘You can be anything you want. Do anything you want. Have anything you want.’”
It sounds like something from a self-help seminar, but for a kid with nothing but broken patterns and low expectations, it was revelation. Robert didn’t just hear the words—he believed them.
Within five months, he’d dropped out of high school, borrowed $4,000 (with his parents putting their car up as collateral), and moved to a different city to start his first business. He was 17.
“I drove to Lubbock with $500 in my pocket. I owed $6,000 on the franchise, $6,000 on the truck, and I was scared to death,” he laughed. “But I had this unshakable belief that I wouldn’t fail.”
Why? Because someone believed in him.
”We think heroes are perfect. But most of the time, a hero isn’t perfect—he’s just perfect for you, in that moment of your life.”
The Cost of Redemption.
Not all defining moments come wrapped in success For Robert, that moment was 1982.
“I was responsible for an abortion,” he admitted. “That was probably the biggest mistake I ever made.”
The pain lingered until the birth of his first son at age 31. That’s when the weight of what had been lost—and what could’ve been—hit full force.
“That pain never fully goes away,” he said. “Even after you’re forgiven, even after you heal—the thought of what might have been... it stays.”
Rather than bury it, Robert used it. He began speaking openly about it at men’s conferences, creating a chance for other men to finally speak the unspoken. And they did.
“They come up to me in tears—guys who’ve carried that alone for decades. Their wives don’t know. Their kids don’t know. And they’re dying inside... Most men don’t have anyone to talk to. That’s why we carry wounds in silence.”
Mentorship Is the Mission. Today, Robert mentors at least 10 men at any given time. Some are young and searching. Others are high-level leaders facing transitions, loss, or burnout.
His style is simple. Just walking with them.
“Mentoring isn’t about having perfect advice,” he said. “It’s about being present. Listening. Reminding them they’re not alone.”
It’s how Heroic Men was born—out of this desire to help more men rise. To take their time, talent, and treasure and redirect it toward something greater than themselves.
“The question is simple,” Robert said. “Do I bury the talent God gave me? Or do I use it and multiply it tenfold?”
He believes mentoring is a duty, especially for men over 50. ”If every man over 50 mentored just one younger man, we could change the world.”
He’s not exaggerating. One man he mentored, Gil, worked nights at UPS. “I can’t lead,” Gil once said.
Today, Gil runs the statewide Catholic men’s movement in California. All it took was one man saying, “You can.”
What Makes a Hero?
After all this, we asked Robert how he defines a heroic man. His answer wasn’t about muscle or medals.
“A heroic man is someone who might not look like a hero to the world, but he’s a hero to somebody. Most of the time, that person never even knows it.”
Maybe the most heroic thing you can do is just *show up*. For your son. For your friend. For the guy who doesn’t know who he is anymore. ”Try to be a hero for somebody. That’s it.”
Robert believes most of life comes down to a few core things: show up, surrender the outcome, and do your 10%. God will handle the 90.
And if you’re still in the middle of your mess, unsure where to go next, here’s the truth Robert wants you to hear:
”You don’t have to stay where you are. Your past is not your prison. It’s just your starting line.”