Bold listening or Rote prayer? Which is key to answering the heroic call?
Catholic Men Urged to ‘Pray in the Spirit’ as Antidote to Spiritual Complacency
In a culture saturated with distraction and spiritual passivity, two Catholic men are urging their listeners to do more than memorized prayers. Get into a lived relationship with the Holy Spirit.
On a recent episode of Men Answering the Heroic Call, hosts Tom Hornacek and Dean Patterson challenged Catholic men to examine whether they are truly listening to God — or merely reciting words.
“We don’t pray as we ought to,” Patterson said, quoting Romans 8:26. “But the Holy Spirit is there to help us and guide us in prayer.”
The episode followed a series addressing pornography addiction — a struggle they described as requiring a decisive spiritual response. But rather than focusing on tactics alone, the hosts framed the deeper battle as one of disposition: surrender, attentiveness, and bold action when prompted by grace.
“The Holy Spirit’s a gentleman,” Hornacek said. “He won’t come in. We have to invite Him in.”
From Routine Prayer to Relationship
The hosts distinguished between reciting traditional Catholic prayers and cultivating a living dialogue with the Spirit.
Patterson praised the Church’s rich treasury of prayers — including the Our Father and the Psalms — as language that “helps us express ourselves to God at times when we may not have the language.”
But he pressed further. “What we’re called to do is pray in the Spirit,” he said. “It’s mystical.”
Listening, he argued, is often the missing element.
“If I had one challenge over the years,” Patterson said, referencing his own marriage, “it’s — are you really listening?”
That same principle applies to prayer. Asking God for help while never pausing for response reduces faith to a monologue.
“If you ask God something,” Patterson said, recalling advice from a ministry leader, “expect an answer. But you’ve got to listen and wait.”
‘You Used to Love Me. Now You Just Work for Me.’
Hornacek shared a story from a priest who once described a moment of conviction during early ministry. Overwhelmed with activity, the priest sensed the Holy Spirit saying: “You used to love me. Now you just work for me.”
The message struck Hornacek deeply.
“We can be involved in ministry and think, ‘Well, I’m doing the will of God,’” he said. “But if we’re not listening to the Spirit… a lot of the times I wasn’t.”
He now begins moments of uncertainty with a simple prayer: “Come, Holy Spirit.” Then he waits.
“Sometimes you’re not going to hear anything,” he acknowledged. “But a lot of the times it’s a thought you never had. A prompt to call someone.”
One such prompting led him to phone a neighbor he hadn’t spoken to in months. The man later told him he had been about to make the same call.
“That’s not a coincidence,” Hornacek said. “It’s a God-incident.”
At the Edge of Comfort
Hornacek described a turning point during a mission trip to St. Lucia, where he and his wife ministered inside overcrowded prison cell blocks.
“I didn’t know what to say,” he recalled. “By Friday, I wanted out of there.”
In desperation, he prayed silently: What do You want me to say, Lord?
A simple question came to mind: What do you think happens when you die?
The conversation that followed opened doors.
“That’s really where God wants you,” Hornacek said. “At the edge of the cliff.”
Later, on another mission trip, he awoke in the middle of the night with a strong impression that he would be asked to lead ministry inside the prison the next morning. He prepared Scripture passages in advance. The next day, the request came exactly as he had sensed.
“If it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit,” he said, “I was not in a good place. But I was ready.”
Boldness, Not ‘Frozen Chosen’
The hosts urged men to act when prompted — even when uncomfortable.
“When the decision makes you uncomfortable and stretches you,” Hornacek said, “that’s probably the Spirit.”
On a recent Catholic cruise, he felt prompted to pray aloud with a man who had confided personal struggles.
“I didn’t want to,” Hornacek admitted. “I was having a nice cigar.”
But he set everything down and went over to pray with him. The next day, the man publicly shared how that meeting and that prayer had brought peace.
“Lord… what if I wouldn’t have?” Hornacek reflected.
He cautioned listeners against becoming what he called “frozen chosen” — believers who sense a prompting but hesitate to act.
“Step over the chicken line,” he said.
Practical Tools: Lectio Divina and the Examen
Beyond personal stories, the episode offered practical methods for cultivating attentiveness.
Patterson described leading a group of Catholic men through Lectio Divina, an ancient practice of prayerful Scripture reading. After reading the call of Levi from the Gospel of Luke three times with pauses for reflection, conversation flowed for nearly 20 minutes.
“It never fails to amaze me how willing God is to meet you when you step out and trust,” Patterson said.
He also outlined the Daily Examen, a prayer practice developed by St. Ignatius of Loyola. The five-step reflection invites believers to:
Place themselves in God’s presence
Give thanks
Review the day
Reflect on moments of closeness or distance
Look forward with hope
“It helps you attend all day to where God is present,” Patterson said.
Obedience and Surrender
The conversation returned repeatedly to surrender — entrusting outcomes to God while remaining obedient.
Hornacek recommended the Surrender Novena and emphasized that the Holy Spirit can “steer moving boats,” encouraging men to act while remaining open to correction.
Patterson cited Deuteronomy, where Moses reminds Israel that obedience brings protection and fruitfulness.
“At the very least,” Patterson said, “let’s commit to being obedient.”
A Relationship, Not a Formula
Throughout the episode, both men stressed that praying in the Spirit is less about technique and more about relationship.
“We are made for relationship with God and others,” Patterson said. “You speak to your friends. You listen.”
Hornacek added: “We won’t know our gift unless we start leaning into the Spirit and ask Him.”
Their message was direct: begin simply.
“Come, Holy Spirit,” Hornacek prayed at the close of the episode.
For the hosts of Men Answering the Heroic Call, that invitation marks the start of a daily battle — and, they believe, a path toward courage, clarity and communion with God.